By Eric Aasen

Lessons in Love

DENTON – For the college women gathered in Room 131, if you wanna know if he loves you so, it’s not in his kiss – it’s in his eyes.

“His eyes look like they’re probing into you, looking into your soul,” one exclaimed.

“Pretty blue eyes,” another said.

“Almond-shaped eyes.” “Soft eyes, so you look at them and you’re like, ‘Awwww. You look like a puppy.’ ” “Smiley eyes.”

There’s a whole lotta lovin’ goin’ on in the Romantic Relationships course at the University of North Texas. Yes, college students – some of whom specialize in beer bongs, late-night parties or casual hook-ups – are taking a scholarly approach to personality, friendship, attraction, dating and marriage.

So aside from pretty peepers, does the ideal man have a well-defined jaw?

Hands shot up in the air so fast, the students’ arms practically fell off.

Their professor, Jennifer Acker, quickly whipped them back into reality.

“This may be the hottest guy ever that walks into the room, but is he going to provide for the family and really help out?”

His looks may light up a room, but will he really light up a room by replacing that burned-out light bulb?

“There’s nothing sexier than a man with a vacuum cleaner,” Acker said.

For these students, there’s no need to search those bottomless piles of self-help books at the bookstore this Valentine’s Day. Forget Dr. Phil. Turn off The Bachelor and other syrupy find-me-a-lover shows.

The UNT class was formed just a couple of years ago, but there’s so much interest that students are being turned away. Similar courses are popping up on across the country.

Some students take the class to fulfill requirements for their majors. Others say it will help them as counselors.

Then there are those who are motivated by scoring some tips about finding “the one.”

Lindsey Teel, 23, is in class partly to learn how to find the right guy, “although I don’t want to admit it.”

“Romantic relationships are one of the most beautiful forms of human interaction,” she said. “They’re rare. The good ones are rare.”

Done right, these relationships create “a bond of trust,” Teel said, leading to some of the most joyful moments in our lives – a first kiss, falling in love, getting married and having children.

Teel and the other students – mostly women – turn to Acker, their Love Lecturer, who guides them through the twists and turns of Cupid’s arrow.

Society focuses so much on finding the perfect partner, but not on how to keep that mate, Acker said. She believes college is a good time to learn about creating healthy partnerships and hopes students will apply the lessons in their own lives.

“When you’re at that young college age, you’re still trying to figure yourself out and yet you’re trying to figure out how to have a relationship,” said Acker, a lecturer in UNT’s College of Education.

Standing in front of dozens of students last week, Acker explained how self-esteem dips among college-age students and how that could challenge relationships.

She discussed how relationships are a partnership of equals – at least in terms of their attractiveness. Rarely do you find an ugly duckling with a hottie.

Students brought in pictures of famous men and women they found attractive: Brody Jenner, James Franco, Reggie Bush, Jake Gyllenhaal. Jennifer Aniston, Carrie Underwood, Kim Kardashian, Reese Witherspoon.

One woman flashed a picture of Chace Crawford.

He looks like a 12-year-old, a student said.

“You crush my heart,” the woman responded.

Acker suggested that couples discuss Valentine’s Day ahead of time – and decide whether they would get dressed up and go out or exchange gifts.

“In our minds, we have this perfect expectation and picture of what this man is going to do for us on Valentine’s Day, yet we never say it out loud,” she said. “I don’t know how to expect guys to meet those expectations.”

Melissa Wish, 21, isn’t in the class to look for a man – she has a boyfriend – but she believes the class will help her when she’s a family counselor, especially when working with divorcing parents.

“I want to help parents stay friends through the divorce,” she said. “I understand why Mom and Dad aren’t going to work out, but I can help little Suzie understand.”

While taking the class, Teel has come to realize that she’s been going after the bad guys.

“They seem like they’re good and then they’re not,” she said. “They’re like wolves in sheeps’ clothing.”

Matt Whitaker, 26, has learned many lessons from the women of Room 131.

“In the beginning, women want that bad or dangerous guy,” Whitaker said, “but at the end of the day, when it’s all said and done, they want to know that their boyfriend or husband is there for them and loves, nurtures and protects them.”

So, to the good guys out there: Be patient and be nice. You’ve got a good shot.

Source: The Dallas Morning News

Online Valentine

By SaferDates

For those already involved in a relationship, Valentine’s Day is a wonderful way to open up the lines of communication to let our significant other know how much we love them. For singles it can be a very emotional and vulnerable time and Valentine’s Day is the perfect day for scammers to target these emotions.

Online dating romance scams mainly target free dating websites or sites that do not moderate. They usually start with the scammer setting up a fake profile and making false promises. After building trust, scammers play on their victim’s emotions by planning to meet them in some faraway place or asking for money. To get what they want they may ask you personal questions about family members, where you live, your birthday or pry into your financial status. Do not share any of this information on your profile, merely describe who you are and what you are looking for in a partner.

Due to a 30 percent increase in online dating scams last year, more dating sites are working hard to weed out the scammers.  Unfortunately this percentage is a little higher because many victims do not report the scam - they are too embarrassed.

Safer online dating sites should include:

•    Moderating
•    Screening procedures to get accepted on the site.
•    Safety Tips
•    Background screenings
•    A way to contact the administration to report any suspicious activity.

Follow these safety guidelines and make this year a Valen-time to remember!

By Russell Salzman

It has been the bane of every man’s existence for the better part of recorded history, and has caused distress and heavy drinking for single people for nearly as long. It is the inevitable topic of a column devoted to sex and relationships, published in mid-February. Its name is Valentine’s Day, and you should all be very, very frightened.

Well, maybe not frightened, but at the very least vigilant and aware.

This is a holiday that is devoted to relationships and the love/like that is shared between two (or more, I’m not one to judge) individuals. At least that is its intention. What the holiday usually ends up doing is forcing men and women to spend ridiculous amounts of time and money on getting the perfect gift for their partners, and forcing all of us single people out there to reflect on the fact that we are, in fact, single. Whether by choice or by circumstance, no one likes to be reminded that they are alone on this holiday.

But my friends, please do not despair, for I have good news: if you find yourself grouped in with any of the aforementioned generalizations, you are viewing this holiday all wrong.

For those of you in a relationship or situation that warrants buying your partner a Valentine’s Day gift, think back to the golden rule for Christmas, birthdays and any other gift-giving occasion - it’s the thought that counts. Who cares if you spend that extra $40, $50, or even $100 on that giant bouquet of flowers that you put no time or effort into? Same goes with jewelry and pricey trinkets.

Romanticism draws from the creativity and effort that you are willing to use to put a smile on your partner’s face, and an extra-fast beat in their heart.

Cover her bed with hand-picked flowers, make your guy his favorite meal with his favorite brew or even just steal your partner away from a night of drinking Downtown so you can both cuddle on the couch and watch a bunch of your favorite movies; the best gifts are the ones that require more planning and thought than money. After all, anyone can swipe a credit card, but only your special someone can give you what your heart really desires.

And for you single people, please don’t think that I have forgotten about you. Although all your friends who are in relationships or are seeing someone will (hopefully) be spending the day/night with their partners, I guarantee you that there is still a significant number of single friends that you can surround yourself with so no one feels lonely when there is so much love in the air.

And believe me, love is in the air. Although you may enter the holiday single, that may not be how you leave it if you play your cards right. So go party or hang out with your friends, meet some new people and let the holiday work its magic. At the very least, you’ll have a fun night. At best, you’ll find yourself paying attention to a different section of this column next year - the part devoted to those in a relationship.

Use this coming week to plan an unforgettable Valentine’s Day for your special someone or to find yourself a new person to devote to your affection, and don’t let your relationship status hold you down.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Source: Pipe Dream

Explore Your Way Through a First Date

By Jessica Walker

If you’re still thinking about what to do for Valentine’s Day than maybe I can help.  How about planning a casual afternoon of exploration in your home town.  Acting like a tourist on a date is a great way to break the ice, check out places you’ve always wanted to see while offering a memorable experience.

The typical dinner and a movie setting on a first or second date can be a bit intimidating and awkward.  This time around try taking the pressure off and enjoy an adventure through an unknown part of town.  There are a lot of alternatives to dinner and a movie, such as museums and aquariums or for our members that live in the Tampa Bay area try heading over to the Manatee Viewing Center located in Apollo Beach.

This particular destination is safe because it’s a public place and the best part is its FREE.  I spent Sunday morning at the Manatee viewing center and had a blast.  There were a hundred manatee just a stones throw away from the observation decks.  I even witnessed young sharks and sting rays showing off by sporadically jumping out the water and spinning through the air before splashing back in.  A setting like this offers something interesting to talk about and gives you a chance to be yourself and really get to know that other person.

For those of you that live outside of Tampa, FL hopefully this idea will get you to think outside the box and find an adventurous dating destination in your neck of the woods.  It’s easy!  Just pick your favorite search engine and use key words like attractions, tourism and sightseeing coupled with your city and state; hit enter and start planning your Valentine’s Day exploration!

Until next time, here’s to keeping you Safer in the City!

Jessica

By: GateHouse News Service

Tip of the Week

Valentine’s Day is coming, and that means there might be romance in the air at your workplace. Here are five tips from business etiquette expert Barbara Pachter, author of the book “NewRules@Work: 79 Etiquette Tips, Tools, and Techniques to Get Ahead and Stay Ahead,” to help you and your significant other share a copier by day and a bedroom by night without hurting your professional image:

1. Do not broadcast your relationship on any social media sites. Keep the relationship private. Your co-workers do not need to know the intimate details of your romance. No posting information or photos about your latest love interest on Facebook or sending tweets about it. You never know who will see them.

2. No giant billboards in Times Square! If the relationship fails, be professional and adult about it. A recent billboard in New York publicly announced the affair between Charles Phillips, co-president of Oracle Corporation, and his mistress. Even if you have been jilted and the relationship ends badly, you cannot vent your negative feelings in public. This is the risk of office relationships. They sometimes don’t work out and then you have to continue to see or work with the person.

3. No physical contact in the office. No romantic displays. No secret kissing, caressing, hand holding or sex in the office. This also includes your behavior at office parties.

4. Don’t e-mail X-rated Valentine’s Day cards. E-mail is not private. Do not mail an unsigned Valentine’s Day card to a co-worker. Being a secret admirer is not a corporate concept.

5. Your boss shouldn’t be your valentine. Relationships are tricky enough without your boss or subordinate being your valentine. If you are dating your boss, have your reporting relationship changed.

Source: McPhersonSentinel.com

Read on as these women recall the times when Cupid’s arrow pointed straight toward disaster.

By Ashley Womble

Dream Date Disaster
A new guy surprised me by planning the perfect Valentine’s Day date: a romantic dinner followed by fireworks show on the beach. Everything was great until the check arrived. He asked me, “Should we split it or do you just want to pay for your meal?” After dinner we took a walk on the pier. He bumped into a girl, who was obviously his ex-girlfriend, and after talking and laughing for about 20 minutes without including me he finally said, “Oh sorry, this is my friend, Kat.” We broke up the next day. —Katrina, 19

Shot in the Heart
I had a crush on a close guy friend during college, so I was really excited when he asked me to come over to watch a movie on V-Day. I arrived at his dorm room with a handwritten poem that confessed how much I liked him. After I read it, he said, “That’s nice,” and promptly started the movie, Reservoir Dogs. It was clear by the first gunshot that romance was not on his mind. I was heartbroken and had to watch a gruesome, violent movie with no chance of cuddling with my crush. —Ashley, 28

On Thin Ice
I bought my boyfriend tickets to the Columbus Blue Jackets hockey game for Valentine’s Day. During a break in the game, my guy spontaneously grabbed and kissed me! I pulled away, because I was so shocked, and that’s when he pointed to the JumboTron screen. We had been on the “Kiss Cam,” and everyone in the arena had seen my snotty pull-away and embarrassed reaction. —Tina, 20

Ex Hits the Spot
After secretly dating two guys — Dan and Joe — for a few months, I told Joe I didn’t want a relationship, so that I could get serious with Dan. On Valentine’s Day, Dan took me out to dinner, and I almost choked on my drink when our waiter arrived. It was Joe! To make matters worse, Dan ordered a dish with béchamel sauce, which he loved. He gushed to the waiter, a.k.a. my ex, “If she could cook like this I’d marry her.” I wanted to die. —Cristina, 26

Honestly, Abe?
After a long dry spell, I was psyched to finally have a new guy in my life so we could spend Valentine’s Day together. Call me corny, but I was hoping I’d get flowers or chocolate — you know, what every girl wants! Instead, he gave me an old Abe Lincoln bobblehead that looked like it came from the bottom of his closet. I honestly didn’t even know what to say, so I just mumbled “thank you.” After a few more bad dates, I pulled off Abe’s head, and kicked that boy to the curb. —Adrienne, 17

Slacker Surprise
I decided to have a low-key Valentine’s Day with my live-in boyfriend. I had a feeling he was going to surprise me by making a special dinner or sending flowers. I didn’t talk to him all day, so I was really excited to see what he’d planned when I got home from work. I walked in the door to find him sitting in front of the TV in sweatpants. He gave me the lamest card I’ve ever seen and then asked, “What do you want to order for dinner?” I was shocked that to him low-key meant nothing at all. —Ali, 24

Party Foul
My boyfriend Matt and I didn’t have any special plans for V-Day, so he decided to have a few friends over for an impromptu get-together. I was a little pissed that he invited Krista, a girl I suspected had a thing for him. I played it cool until later that night, when he admitted that he had cheated on me with her a few months before. When I confronted her she denied it, but later I heard her ask Matt, “Why did you tell her?!” After a big blowout, I left the party and Krista spent the night with my guy! —Ciara, 18

Thief in the Night
The guy I’d been dating, Clay, was totally MIA on Valentine’s Day. At first I was worried, but after not hearing from him all day I started to get pissed. That night I got a call from the county jail, asking me to accept a collect call from … Clay! He had stolen his parents’ brand-new car and they reported it to the police. Even though I have a thing for bad boys, I broke up with that loser the next day. —Rachel, 22

Double Trouble
One Valentine’s Day, I planned an elaborate meal for my boyfriend. He acted really awkward during dinner, and when I gave him a gift he said, “Oh, I don’t have your gift. Can I give it to you tomorrow?” I found out later that he was dating another girl and had already celebrated V-Day with her earlier that evening! —Tiffani, 33

Source: lifestyle.msn.com

Flowers and chocolates are expected — but wait until you hear what cringe-worthy V-Day gifts these women received!

By The Nest Editors

Let’s be honest: As much as we love Valentine’s Day, it’s hard to ignore all the tacky teddy bears, heart-shaped boxes of chocolates, roses, and (gag) lacy red lingerie. Even worse is being on the receiving end of a gimmicky V-Day gift. So, which items fall on the ultimate cheese list? TheNest.com readers share their most cringe-worthy Valentine’s presents.

“One of those big cards from the gas station.” —calle28

“My boyfriend got me a bikini (top only, he didn’t know you had to order the bottoms separately). He intentionally bought it a size too small.” —cherryblossom_bride

“My husband bought me one of those teddy bears in a straitjacket that was called ‘Crazy for You Bear.’ I have a couple of psychology degrees, so I found it kind of funny.” —psyck

“A guy I used to date gave me a plush, red pillow, trimmed with lace and a ribbon across it saying, ‘Will you be my valentine?’” —ootmother2

“One guy gave me a box of chocolates from the dollar store. Too bad I don’t eat chocolate.” —alabaster_angel

“How about a stuffed animal that dances to “Crank That (Soulja Boy)”? The dancing really upped the cheese factor.” —Mel_23

“My ex kept hinting about this awesome surprise he had for Valentine’s Day. Then he took me to Safeway and bought me a red mug that said ‘Kiss.’ Score!” —charisan

“Last year, my hubby gave me a tackle box filled with used lures and fishing worms that he no longer wanted but didn’t want to throw away, plus a Frisbee so he could take me to the park to play (like I was a puppy or something!). Needless to say, it wasn’t well received!” —Dondine

“I got a poem from an ex boyfriend where he went on and on about how beautiful my black hair was, and how he could look into my brown eyes for all of eternity. Too bad my hair is brown, and my eyes are blue.” —tiffwins

“I dumped a guy who gave me an ID bracelet — with his name on it. What, like in case I forgot his name? So ridiculous.” —ktrumpatori

“My husband once bought one of those coupon books full of IOUs (as in, ‘one free massage’ or ‘dinner on me’). He didn’t get it though, and thought he kept the tickets and gave them to me when he wanted to redeem them. I had to explain that he didn’t get to give me a coupon for his massage; I get the coupon and redeem it when I want!” —m+j

Source: lifestyle.msn.com