Relationship Status

By Jessica Walker

As I was researching for this post, I was surprised at how important the “Relationship Status” has become on Facebook.  I honestly had no idea how critical this click was for a lot of people.  I guess I am confused because I primarily use Facebook to keep in touch with friends and family only.  It does not seem like a dating destination.  Besides, your close friends and family members should know your relationship status already and if they don’t then I would question why they are even on your connections or contacts list in the first place.

Now from a safety standpoint, I would avoid posting the following status options:

•    Single
•    Widowed
•    It’s Complicated
•    Swinger (MySpace option only)

Choosing any one of these status options is like throwing chum into the cyberland sea.  You may attract friendly fish but you’re also inviting predators as well.  Criminals swimming around lurking to feed on emotional carnage will be drawn to the Single status, It’s Complicated status and especially the Widowed status.  As for the Swinger status, that sounds to me like an invitation for a sketchy couple looking to rob you blind while the other keeps you occupied if you know what I mean.  If that’s your thing, please “tread” lightly.

My advice is focus your online dating interaction towards the sites that specialize in just dating and turn off your relationship status on sites like Facebook and MySpace.  If you’re worried about a missed opportunity, don’t sweat it!  If someone wants to know your status they can always send you a message through your profile page.  Which in turn gives you the opportunity to check them out before replying.

For those already in a relationship, I would also avoid the Relationship Status.  In my research, I read far too many stories of public humiliation due to someone changing their status before they had “the talk” with their partner or the bombardment of questions from concerned contacts once they noticed your status changed back to Single.  Check out this article where an ex-partner was harassed through Facebook to the point that a defamation suit was filed.

If your partner gets concerned because you’re not posting your status just simply tell them you are concerned with promoting too much of your personal life online.  I’m sure in this day and age they will understand.

Relationships are complicated enough.  So why layer in another element that could potentially cause you grief.  Let’s throw out the chum bucket and grab a good old fishing pole or two and cast our lines out into the online dating cyberland sea and score our next catch the safer way.

Until next time, here’s to keeping you Safer in the City!

- Jessica

Online Valentine

By SaferDates

For those already involved in a relationship, Valentine’s Day is a wonderful way to open up the lines of communication to let our significant other know how much we love them. For singles it can be a very emotional and vulnerable time and Valentine’s Day is the perfect day for scammers to target these emotions.

Online dating romance scams mainly target free dating websites or sites that do not moderate. They usually start with the scammer setting up a fake profile and making false promises. After building trust, scammers play on their victim’s emotions by planning to meet them in some faraway place or asking for money. To get what they want they may ask you personal questions about family members, where you live, your birthday or pry into your financial status. Do not share any of this information on your profile, merely describe who you are and what you are looking for in a partner.

Due to a 30 percent increase in online dating scams last year, more dating sites are working hard to weed out the scammers.  Unfortunately this percentage is a little higher because many victims do not report the scam - they are too embarrassed.

Safer online dating sites should include:

•    Moderating
•    Screening procedures to get accepted on the site.
•    Safety Tips
•    Background screenings
•    A way to contact the administration to report any suspicious activity.

Follow these safety guidelines and make this year a Valen-time to remember!

By Ellen McCarthy

The hikes Thierry Chiapello and Sharon Spradling began taking in fall 2006 were not particularly romantic.

They’d met earlier that year at the Pentagon. She was a career Air Force officer specializing in biomedical science. He was the director of the Defense Department’s Explosives Safety Board. Their jobs would require a certain amount of collaboration, so they exchanged cards and promised to be in touch.

And they were — trading messages on their BlackBerrys about work strategies, life philosophies and books they found compelling. When he signed off one Friday with a mention that he planned to hit the C&O Canal that weekend to clear his head, she replied that she’d been planning to do the same.

They decided to meet near Great Falls and set out on the trail together. Over the next few months they would log hundreds of miles, exhausting their bodies and trying, at least, to exorcise the sorrows weighing on each of them.

By then Chiapello, now 43, had been separated from his second wife for almost a year. He’d married for the first time at 27 when, as a young Marine, he found out his girlfriend was pregnant with their daughter. But the union lasted less than a year. When he walked back down the aisle at 31, it was with greater deliberateness and confidence that this relationship would last. But after two more daughters and 10 years, that marriage, too, began to crumble.

Spradling had been married for three years in her 20s, but chafed at the institution. It seemed to somehow change the way people treated her: She was someone’s wife then, not her own person. “People don’t talk to you, they talk to your husband,” she recalls. “It drove me nuts.”

For years she was happy to move around the country with the military. But she’d been in Washington longer than anyplace else, and it was here she’d carried on a 10-year relationship that had also hit the skids. By the time she and Chiapello began hiking together, the breakup was complete, though her ex-boyfriend had yet to move out of the house.

“That’s why we hiked so much — just to kind of talk about it,” says Spradling, now 44.

A 14-mile walk in the woods can breed a certain intimacy, one that deepened as they reunited on the trail every weekend. Little was left unsaid — except, perhaps, the feelings they were developing for each other. Spradling, in particular, thought there was potential, but even investing herself in that thought felt risky, she says, “because I think he was hoping, up until the last minute, that his divorce wouldn’t happen and he would have a happily ever after.

“It was pretty clear to me that wasn’t gonna happen, but you can’t tell somebody that. And you don’t even want to hope for that, really.”

It was Chiapello’s daughter, Monica, who impelled the relationship beyond the footpath. Visiting from Los Angeles over the holidays, the 16-year-old joined the two on a New Year’s Eve hike, nudging her dad at the end to invite Spradling to a family party that night.

Soon Chiapello and Spradling were seeing each other regularly, adding dinners and phone calls to their hiking routine. Chiapello’s divorce became final in March 2007, but instead of feeling like a release, the finality of it devastated him.

“You do the self-analysis: ‘What could I have done differently? How much of this was my fault?’ A lot of different issues start percolating up,” he explains. “You’ve got to take out the garbage, so to speak — about yourself. You’ve gotta clean house.”

To save himself from future heartache, he says, “I’ve often thought about joining a cloistered men’s monastery — at least for 30 seconds.”

Neither knew where the relationship was headed, but they agreed, Spradling says, “that we’d be friends no matter how it worked out.”

“There was no big rush,” Chiapello says. “And in hindsight that’s what I didn’t do in the previous two marriages: build a foundation of really getting to know someone — without any pressure of expectations for a future.”

At the end of 2007, they bought a house together. Living under the same roof proved difficult initially, so there were, just as there had been at the beginning, a lot of long talks. “It’s about communication overall. And I’m not talking about mild stuff. I’m talking about what’s really at the heart of it,” he says. “We worked through a lot of stuff. But we always came out on a better place, even on some really tough issues.”

The adage is that as people age, they become more set in their ways. Chiapello thinks the tumult of his life has instead made him more flexible. “I’ve become more tolerant over time,” he says. “I think life has really served to make me understand myself far better. And to understand what’s important and what’s not, and to appreciate what’s important and what’s not.”

During those first hard months — as he also worked to help his daughters adjust to the changes in their lives — Chiapello and Spradling paid a great deal of attention to “learning to tolerate each other’s imperfections and weaknesses.” There would be, they determined, no rose-colored glasses in this relationship. “That’s the beauty of this,” he says. “It’s real.”

When Monica came to live with them the following year, the couple began to feel frustrated with the description of Spradling as “my dad’s live-in girlfriend.” But each was still wary that marriage would somehow diminish the good thing they had going. For a while they decided to be “virtually married” and live as if they’d tied the knot, just to see how it would feel. “And that actually worked out pretty well,” he says. “So ultimately we said, ‘Let’s do it.’ ”

It took a year, but they finally set a date: Jan. 10 at Great Falls, where their relationship took root. There would be a ceremony, they decided, but no giant wedding. “We didn’t want to fall into that trap,” he says. “It’s about the rest of it — not the wedding.”

Before Spradling woke that morning, Chiapello sent her an e-mail. “As experience and understanding of who I really am becomes more evident on this constant journey called life, my shortcomings and mistakes become increasingly evident,” he wrote. But, he continued, “I commit to giving you my best day in and day out.”

As ice floated by on the Potomac and freezing winds blasted their dark overcoats, the two exchanged simple vows. And the guest list that day totaled seven, including their three dogs.

Source: The Washington Post

My fairy tale adventure though BeautifulPeople.com!

By Jessica Walker

I hope you all enjoyed the fairy tale beginning to this two part article.  I had a lot of fun writing it.  Although, I hope you read into the sarcasm that was dripping from each sentence.

And now for the million dollar question… “Mirror, Mirror on the wall is Jessica beautiful at all?”  You’ll have to read to the end to find out.

If you are wondering, yes I did in fact register with BeautifulPeople.com.  I can attest that this site definitely caters to “looks” as the profile information is minimal and your admission is based on the opposite sex rating your profile image over a 48 hour time frame.

On your profile they offer the following sections to complete about yourself that the other members can access:

Name: Appears next to your profile image

Profile Description: Text box to offer anything on yourself

Profile Information: Date of birth, country, home address, cell phone number and private homepage

Occupation: Education, job title and job description

Profile details: Car owner, smoker, hair color, eye color, Weight in lbs., Height in feet, body type (slim, average, athletic, muscular etc…)

Interested in: Check a box for love, fun and flirts, social networking, business networking, invitations to parties and events.

In order to get a favorable rating you need to really market yourself through the chat rooms, add friends to your profile and of course rate the other profiles.  The site to me is more of a social networking platform and less of a match making destination. There are no matching filters or tests for personality/compatibility.  This site also seems to cater to heterosexuals only since the members of the opposite sex determine who stays and who goes.

From a safety standpoint I am fine with this site.  You have the option to offer very minimal personal information, which I advise. I would refrain from completing the majority of the Profile Information as it gives away your birthday, home address and cell number.  They offer many ways to communicate with someone without having to give out your cell number or personal email address.  Beautiful People does not offer background checks but that’s what we are here for, right!

I personally do not have a problem with this site.  I believe they have every right to do what they are doing.  Relationships are initially based on looks and if that is their niche then they should strive to be the best at it.  Our niche is safety and we have dedicated our business to being the best at that.  Besides, you don’t have to join their site if you are offended.  There are plenty of other dating sites available, but if that is your preference then perfect there is a site that caters to you.

As a marketing professional, I LOVE options.  Options are empowering to me.  You could say I find beauty in choice.  It’s wonderful to be able to pick and choose whether I want to offer my support for a particular company.   Now it’s up to you to make the choice and that’s the BEAUTY I like to advocate.

Now to answer the million dollar question… I did not make the cut, even with a few favorable ratings.

So I turned to the mirror one last time, “Mirror, mirror on the wall, who decides beauty after all?”

The mirror replied, “Now you ask the right question my dear.  It’s not the cyberland men that’s clear.  You must not search for it far and wide, it is everywhere, right here and outside.  It’s blowing through the trees, and soaring up in the sky, it’s laughing out loud and even in a cry.  It’s seen through the eyes, felt with the hands and heard like a melody dancing across the lands.  My sweet child without further ado, there’s nothing more to review, the answer is plain and simple it’s YOU.”

Until next time, here’s to keeping you Safer in the City!

Jessica

By Colleen Leahey

Thanksgiving break is particularly glorious for college students. After several months of combating the small creatures living under their fridges, studying until their brains ache and surviving swine-related illnesses without Mom’s chicken noodle soup, they finally return home. Everyone looks forward to a day dedicated to turkey, mashed potatoes and embarrassing family stories. But there’s another something students smile about when thinking of Thanksgiving break: their holiday honey.

Yes, I am aware this term is absolutely absurd. The other day I made the mistake of referring to my roommate’s ex-squeeze as her holiday honey while she was sipping on a glass of water. She proceeded to spurt water everywhere while laughing hysterically. I, however, like the term. My mom began using it several years ago, when my older sister was a freshman in college. Every break (Columbus Day, Thanksgiving, Winter, et cetera), Kelly and her high school boyfriend would rekindle their flame for several days, then let it fizzle when they returned to their respective schools.

During my freshman year, I followed in my sister’s footsteps. When home from school, I would cuddle and reminisce with an ex, forgetting the actual reason we broke up and enjoying a casual romance instead. This type of behavior is far from uncommon; student after student enjoys time spent with his or her special hometown friend. But the question is: Why? Does a holiday honey have something more appealing than your typical college crush?

Definitely. First of all, there are always old feelings involved with a high school ex. They knew you before you went to keggers and made out on the dance floor with several other partygoers in a night. They evoke a general innocence in you, a quality that can seem lost in the throes of chaotic college events. When with them, you’re reminded of corsages, ice cream dates and movies you never actually watched. Certainly, there are some high school memories you would like to forget — but overall, the nostalgia associated with an old flame is extremely comforting.

In addition to the comfort of old stories, there is also a sort of security associated with a holiday honey. He or she is your college safety net, gently catching you break after break. People constantly complain about the lack of sober, functional relationships during their years on the Hilltop, particularly as freshmen. With a college hook-up, you typically wake up each morning in his or her bed and must piece the previous night’s events together, hoping you didn’t do or say anything too embarrassing. With a holiday hook-up, you talk and catch up for hours, allowing a general coziness to overwhelm your being.

Also, the no-strings-attached situation is a definite plus. Some realistic couples understand the difficulties of a long-distance relationship, deciding to be together when at home and single when at school. They often have a “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy, enjoying the time spent with one another rather than prying for all the juicy details of each other’s college love life.

Sometimes, however, there can be a bump in the road for hometown sweethearts. In said casual relationship, one party may want something more than the other. This, inevitably, is the issue with most holiday honeys. Upon hearing stories of their love’s best guy or girl friend from college, they turn a vibrant shade of green, envy enveloping them. Hoping not to lose their hometown security blanket, they try to rekindle their old romance into a full-fledged relationship. Usually, this is an epic failure.

Undoubtedly, some holiday honeys will become serious, realizing their true like, or maybe even love, for one another. However, it’s important to remember that this is not always the case. Most holiday honeys are just that; they hang out over breaks from school, then go about their separate business once back on their different campuses.

If a relationship is forced or not thought out, it tends to end in a rocky break-up, especially if you’re spending time with a high school ex. Before jumping into anything, try not to get caught up in the feel-good whirlwind of butterflies and giddiness, and recall the actual reason you are no longer dating this person and that they, in fact, are your EX. Chances are, you’ll realize this person can never be more than your holiday hook-up.

So, when you’re going out Wednesday night with all your friends, or opting instead to spend the evening in with your person of interest, it’s necessary to take it all with a grain of salt. Enjoy the time you spend with your special someone; bake cookies, hold hands, do whatever your mushy heart desires. Dreams of sugarplums and relationships may dance through your head, but remember to stay grounded. For the time being, this person is not your girlfriend or boyfriend, but simply your holiday honey. And, back at school, you’ll most likely have a lovely DFMO awaiting your return.

Source: the guide

Friday, November 20, 2009
By Yvonne Fulbright

The long-awaited breakthrough in women’s sexual dysfunction may be here. German drugmaker Boehringer Ingelheim (BI) GmbH claims to have made a pill that will awaken female sexual desire.

This Prince Charming of investigational compounds promises to arouse Cinderella by decreasing inhibitions. This experimental desire drug plays with her mind literally, working on the brain.

Known as Flibanserin, this magic pill has sexual medicine bracing itself for a Viagra-like reception of this first of its kind pharmaceutical treatment for her. With women likelier to report sexual problems than men, sales for the U.S. market alone are projected to surpass the $2 billion Americans spend on erectile dysfunction treatments.

Before the money starts rolling in, however, it will take the U.S. Food and Drug Administration 6-18 months to decide whether it will approve Flibanserin.

Still, should you be more concerned than hopeful over its promise to transform women’s sex lives?

Flibanserin was originally researched as a possible treatment for depression and not as a possible contestant in the race for a “female Viagra.” While it didn’t lift users’ moods, researchers noticed that sexual appetite was rated consistently higher on measures of well-being. This prompted BI to conduct three separate, 24-week clinical trials investigating its potential to treat hyposexual desire disorder, which in laymen’s terms translates to a low-libido.

The more than 5,000 female participants recruited in the U.S. and Europe were mostly professionals in their early 30s to mid-40s in stable, monogamous, communicative, heterosexual relationships with a sexually functional partner. They were concerned, bothered, or frustrated with their low desire or its negative impact on their relationships.

Upon starting the treatment, they were asked to gauge their “satisfying sexual events.” They were beeped once daily and asked to rate their desire, as well as note whether they had been sexually active that day and if it was enjoyable.

Findings revealed an increase in the number of satisfying sexual events and sexual desire while distress due to hyposexual desire disorder decreased. These satisfying events included sexual intercourse, oral sex, masturbation, or genital stimulation by one’s partner.

Sounds great, right? Before getting too excited, though, consider the controversial issues at hand.

Even prior to its press blast Monday, BI was finding itself in the middle of the debate on how to deal with low or no libido. Can it be as simple as popping a pill? Or do the often multiple and complex issues involved require a more thoughtful, holistic approach?

Regardless, is a lack of interest in sex a true medical condition? Is there even a disorder to treat to begin with? Decreased desire may serve an evolutionary purpose, for example, enabling females to take care of their offspring.

Female sexual dysfunction has been criticized for being a “disease” created by pharmaceutical companies to make healthy individuals believe they have a problem requiring medicine. Who is to say that it’s dysfunctional, especially when there can be other factors at play?

A person’s relationship, beliefs, values, feelings, comfort level, and motivations, as well as a host of other issues, may be to blame — not the body or brain.

Proponents for the drug argue that decreased female desire is all in her head — a brain dysfunction of sorts.

Regardless of which side you’re on, there are other unavoidable issues that must be attended to, like:

BI researchers don’t know how Flibanserin works. They don’t know why it failed as an antidepressant. They’re guessing on why it helps female libido. Relying on a model of sexual excitatory and inhibitory structures in the brain, they’re unable to pinpoint how or where Flibanserin acts.

What we do know is that Flibanserin is a serotonin drug, with the same 5-HT1A chemistry as Buspar (buspirone), an anti-anxiety drug that functions differently than traditionally anti-anxiety meds like Valium and is said to be nonhabit-forming. Flibanserin works by blocking the release of serotonin, a brain chemical which regulates mood, memory, sleep and appetite.

After 3-6 weeks of daily 100 milligram use, the brain’s production of the neurotransmitter dopamine should increase, stimulating desire. While that sounds fancy and seems to make sense, nobody knows what this drug is treating exactly. We also don’t know the implications, including the brain altering effects, of this psychoactive drug.

The difference in research findings between continents hasn’t been explained. While significant differences were found between those taking the drug versus those using the placebo in North America, the European trials found no significant increase in sexual satisfying events between its two comparison groups. Answering this question stands to open a whole can of worms, including how an individual measures desire.

Even the researchers involved in the studies admit that sexual desire is difficult to define. What is “normal” sexual desire? Right now, there is no baseline by which to define low desire disorder.

Why didn’t sexual desire diminish post-trial? BI has yet to explain why participants who took the drug reported that sexual desire didn’t diminish after the study concluded. This begs questions like did Flibanserin permanently affect participants’ brain chemistry? Or was brain chemistry not a significant factor in most low desire cases?

The drug’s long-term safety and potential withdrawal problems are unknown. Right now, we don’t know the safety of the drug beyond 6 months of use. Side effects in the first two weeks of trials included dizziness, fatigue, anxiety, nausea, daytime sleepiness, dry mouth, and insomnia. The majority of these were resolved with continued treatment, though it’s worth noting that 15 percent of participants discontinued treatment because of the side effects.

Despite studying the drug for over a decade, BI has yet to publish clinical test results proving the drug’s effectiveness. It does, however, need to wrap up its research, and may be able to respond to the red flags being raised.

With most women in the study stating that low desire had “crept up” on them over time, you or your partner may want to keep that in mind if chronic low desire is ever experienced.

Instead of reinforcing the “it’s all in her head” stereotype about females, consider drug-free strategies to get to a better place. These may include becoming more sexually informed, evaluating one’s contraceptive use, therapy, and/or cultivating better communication and a healthier relationship (or getting out of one).

Dr. Yvonne K. Fulbright is a sex educator, relationship expert, columnist and founder of Sexuality Source Inc. She is the author of several books including, “Touch Me There! A Hands-On Guide to Your Orgasmic Hot Spots.”

Source: www.foxnews.com

By: Dave Govan
LookBothWays, Inc.

Source: Water 2005

LOOKBOTHWAYS, Inc., a leading online safety technology and services provider, launches an online reputation service called ReputationShare and partners with Saferdates.com to integrate the new service into their online dating site.

ReputationShare is a breakthrough technology that takes the concept of online buyer and seller ratings, often used by eBay customers, and applies it across social networking sites. As registered users interact socially online their positive or negative actions are tracked by the participating site. The users behavior then creates a reputation score which follows them as they visit other participating sites without ever violating the user’s privacy. Sites like Saferdates.com can better identify and reward positive users while effectively monitoring cyber bullies, griefers, spammers, and predators.

Safer Dates’s multilevel background verifications and overall commitment to safety are truly unique in the online dating community. ReputationShare will give their members one more layer of insight into the reputability of a potential suitor. Reputation Scores will help Safer Dates members determine whom they should engage and whom to avoid.

“We are very excited to be working with Saferdates.com. Our two companies have a shared commitment to improving online safety. We are pleased to be able to provide enhanced levels of service and security for their users’ experience,” states Jerry Tylman, CEO of LOOKBOTHWAYS.

“Partnering with ReputationShare is a synergistic approach to help empower the online community”, remarks Doreen DeAguila, CEO of Safer Dates, LLC. “Safer Dates is committed to giving our members all the tools available to help them make an informed decision and we are thrilled to be able to add this service to our offering.”

About LOOKBOTHWAYS, INC.:

Founded in 2006, LookBothWays is a leading provider of online safety technology and services and a trusted advisor to the world’s largest companies and governments. For more information on ReputationShare, please visit their website.

About Safer Dates:

Safer Dates is the first Internet dating service to offer the choice of multilevel background screenings identified on member profiles. They also empower members and non-members to screen ANYONE for misdemeanors, felonies, marital status and sex offender status by using a Safer Dates tool called InvestiDATE. Safer Dates understands that online safety is no longer just for children and they are dedicated to creating awareness of criminals targeting the growing popularity of online dating services. For more information, visit saferdates.com.

August 15, 2009

By: AnnaLaura Brown

Source: examiner.com

Have you thought about how to use social media as a dating tool? There are many people who are already doing it and why not? I just returned a few days ago from my candle business convention and while I was there I met a couple who met online via a social networking site for NASCAR fans and the woman who was already in the business recruited her husband and then they got married a while after that. So not only did she use it as a dating tool but also as a business building tool.

If you are single and in business for yourself, you could try this too.  This article about Facebook as a dating tool, offers some advice about how to take advantage of social media to date.

In addition, here are a few things to think about when using social media as a dating medium.

1. Who do you want to date? and by this, I don’t just mean the sex or age of the people. You need to decide what qualities, and characteristics you are looking for in people.

2. Where will you be most likely to find these people? Facebook can be a good choice but it is only one of your options.

3. Are you comfortable with the idea? Using social media for dating means that you will get some requests from people with whom you would rather not have a relationship so you have to make sure that this will not bother you.

4. Are you prepared to undergo the stress and hassles involved with long-distance relationships? This is important since you will probably not necessarily be able to always connect with and date online people only in your local area.

5. Do you have a safety plan for when you do decide to date someone and to meet them in person so as to avoid any problems that might arise?

Using social media as a dating tool is not right for everyone but it may be an option for some.

Published on 13 July 2009 by Amy in Security News

Source: BrickHouseSecurity.com

In the midst of thousands of horror stories ranging from murder cases to fiscal scams, the urgency for protection in the online dating world has reached its breaking point. The call has been answered swiftly and mercilessly: saferdates.com. Saferdates provides an unprecedented service in the online dating world that not only allows you to date, but also “investidate.” With a dual level screening process, meeting your other half is no longer a gamble with your safety. The investidate initiative allows members to perform a basic search for a history of felonies, misdemeanors, sex offenses, and marriage for potential mates. Saferdates provides a fingerprint scan for potential mates, which is the best way to ensure that online dating members are screened successfully against a criminal past.  Each member must have a “verified” check next to their profile that notifies other members that they have been screened. continue reading

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

By Yvonne Rice

I am a huge supporter of online dating and chat rooms, having researched more than 6,000 of them world wide and interviewed in excess of 5,500+ online daters. My expertise is in the entire industry which also covers the seedier sides – scammers and sexual predators. I have collaborated with Law Enforcement, Government Agencies, Governments and Communities in order to inform everyone of this unfortunate side to this world.

“Email-order” women or men usually come from poorer counties such as Asia or the Baltic regions—the Russian, Asian or Filipina brides, as they are known. These women and men seek a better life than the one they are living, and who could blame them for that? Unfortunately, a lot of these women and men are exploited, and the bad eggs outperform the good ones. It is a massive problem, and the Internet is rife with dummy “marriage agencies” and speculation of the Russian and Asian mafia involvement, scamming millions and millions of dollars every year from lonely men and women all over the world who just want a permanent partner.

The photographs they show you and sites they sometimes ask you to visit are very tantalizing about how beautiful and easy to get along with these women and men are. As the saying goes, “buyer beware”. There are hundreds of websites with “marriage agencies” on the Internet that will hook you up with your “perfect and beautiful email-order bride”. A lot of them are scams, but even the legitimate ones have people on them ready to scam you unbeknown to these agencies.

But how do you know, for example, that the girl you are corresponding with is a Russian beauty and not a fat, hairy, sweaty Boris? Or that the Asian princess who is in love with you is in fact not a big, fat Mamma who is pretending so she can scam money out of you? Oh? You have seen pictures? So you know they are real? Aaaah . . . well, treasure the memory of your money. You are possibly being taken for a ride. You think I’m joking, don’t you? Well, just keep an open mind about these “Rush’n-to-the-altar-to–marry-you” brides.

There are literally hundreds of thousands of stories of people being scammed around the world that the authorities know about, and they suspect there are as many that they don’t know about.

Here are a couple of questions you should ask yourself:
1.    If this person is so destitute, how do they afford to pay for the Internet, even if it is an Internet café? These services are extremely expensive in some countries.
2.    If they desperately need money, how have they survived all this time up until they met you?
3.    If you asked them for money more than once, would they still want to know you?
So when you receive a contact from someone from overseas, picture this in your mind: picture them (or their Boss) sitting in an Internet café having a lovely, cool drink as they rake in the money from overseas victims. The reason they use an Internet café is not because they can’t afford a computer; they are driving Rolls Royce’s! It’s because if they use a Yahoo or Hotmail address at an Internet café, they are untraceable!

Please feel free to contact me if you need any advice. I am more than to help if I can. The more people that are aware of this – the less it will happen. Internet dating is a fantastic medium to meet new people and possibly find “the one” you seek – millions of people have – so can you. You just need to be aware and do it safely.

Stay safe and make good choices!

Smiles to you,

Yvonne

Yvonne Rice is a former Dating Agency Director and expert in the research of all aspects of the Single Lifestyle. She is a huge supporter of online dating and has researched 5,500+ Online Singles and over 6,000 Online Dating Sites globally. As a result of this research, she is also the Author of two books dedicated to being single and dating online.
Yvonne is also a consultant to various Global Law Enforcement and Government Agencies about Online Safety and Internet Scams that are directed at the Singles Dating, Chat Room and Social Networking Industries.