By Jessica Walker

On Sunday morning I overheard an interview on Fox and Friends about a cell phone application that provides instant background checks for singles.  At first I thought great idea; another tool to help our members.  I finished watching the interview, wrote down some notes and then went online to find out more.

Even though I would be promoting another company, my initial reaction was to gather as much information as possible so I could share it with our members.  After all, I am here to help keep you Safer in the City right?

But, all that positive thinking fizzled the more and more I researched the company behind the application, Intelius, and the application itself. Lets start with the company and mind you not much effort is needed to find something sketchy.

With just a quick Google search using the following words, “Intelius and scams”, I found this article in TechCrunch, from March 2009 describing a company swimming in consumer complaints and legal issues.

You’ll also find multiple sites with detailed consumer complaints.  Check out these links:

Complaints.com Consumers in control
Intelius.Pissedconsumer.com
Thesqueakywheel.com

Also, take a look at the comment trail on this article:
Topix

You’ll read that almost all of the customers complained of unauthorized monthly charges appearing on their credit or debit cards after paying for a one-time fee service on the Intelius site.  Some even complained that the searches they initially paid for weren’t accurate and could not be used.

Now let’s explore the cell phone application that Intelius has just launched in October through iPhone, Blackberry and Android. There are five searches that are available to cell phone customers once the application is downloaded and this is where it got creepy for me.  Although, I was okay with the first search called the “Sleaze Detector” which instantly checks for past criminal activity.  But then I noticed the other four searches that instantly check for the following:

Net Worth
•    Property ownership information
•    Home details (bedrooms, bathrooms, square footage, tax info)
•    Assessed property value

Compatibility
•    Birth Date
•    Horoscope and astrological
information

Interests
•    Social Network Info
•    Professional Info
•    Educational background

Living Situation
•    Names and ages of relatives, associates & roommates living at search subject’s residence

Reading through these searches made me nauseous.  My initial thought was what a brilliant tool for a criminal!  With just a name, phone number or email address Intelius can tell you all this information INSTANTLY.  Now I understand that some of this stuff is available online in some way, which is another problem, but starting in October it’s easier then ever to gather it in an instant one stop shop.

Does anyone else have a problem with some stranger learning about your property ownership, assessed property value and the names and ages of relatives living in your home?  What does that have to do with dating?  You would think marital status would have been number one on their search list but it was left out.  I guess they felt learning the number of bedrooms and bathrooms was more of a priority then whether someone was married or single.

Well you’ll be happy to learn that Safer Dates takes marital status very seriously as it is included in both our Level I & II Verifications and our InvestiDate tool.

Now that we know this application is out there, here is some advice on what to do to block some of your information from being shared through this tool.  Linda Criddle, the expert in my latest interview, “What the Fraud!”, talks about contacting local government agencies to request that your housing information remain private.  Linda spent 13 years at Microsoft where she was a pioneer in online safety for mobile devices and PC’s for the MSN division. She advises that within your home town learn what is public knowledge and accessible through the internet and request that it be removed.  Also, be sure to change the settings on your social networking sites so that only “connections” or “contacts” authorized by YOU can see your profile information.

To read about what Linda Criddle thinks on this new application go to her blog at ilookbothways.com.

One last thing… the tag line for this new application is “Look up before you Hook up”.  You can say that again!

Until next time, here’s to keeping you Safer in the City!

- Jessica

Victoria Peasley, Mary Kay Independent Senior Sales Director,

Safer Dates and Transitions

Presents the 1st Annual

Empowering Hearts Fundraiser to benefitThe Mary Kay Foundation, raising awareness to stop domestic violence, abuse and to break the silence.

Join us Thursday, November 12, 2009 for an Evening dedicated to Raising Awareness for the Health of your Mind, Body and Soul. Click on the link below for details.

Empowering Hearts

If you have a Facebook account you’ll want to read this article by Dr Mercola. This is a great EASY to follow step by step way to help keep you safer on Facebook. After reading please pass it on to all of your Facebook friends.

10 Solid Tips to Safeguard Your Facebook Privacy

Facebook has over 300 million active users. It is growing VERY rapidly. In July of this year there were 250 million users and 75 days later they added another 50 million users. Please understand that Facebook will become as pervasive as phones and computers, so if you aren’t on already I would strongly encourage you to consider joining.

Unfortunately, most users don’t know the implications of entering personal information, making friends, and playing games on Facebook.

However these concerns are EASY to address if you follow these guidelines.

September 22, 2009

Join Jessica Walker, Author of the “Safer in the City” column for SaferDates.com, tonight as she interviews Yvonne Rice. Yvonne is a former Dating Agency Director and expert in the research of all aspects of the single lifestyle. She is a huge supporter of online dating and has researched 4,500+ online singles and over 6,000 online dating sites globally. As a result of this research, she is also the Author of two books dedicated to being single and dating online, “Love Sex Lies and the Internet Mouse ‘Trap’” and “Finding ‘The One’ - A Powerful Step-by-Step Guide to Making Online Dating Work for You”, available through SaferDates.com.

The radio show starts promptly at 7:00pm EDT and listeners can call in at 718-766-4680 to talk to Yvonne. Just click on the link below and enjoy the show.

Safer Dates discusses Love Sex Lies and the Internet Mouse “Trap”

A Safer Dates Melody by Eric Rosati

By Jessica Walker

Segment 4

Jessica: Please give our members examples of the information that should be withheld from a dating profile or a social networking profile, information that a criminal could use against them.

Linda: When you are first meeting and getting to know someone online you want to share what you care about, and not much about who or where you are.

Maintain anonymity to protect your identity. Don’t include your full name, phone number, where you work, financial status, or detailed location information in your profile or during early communications with potential dates. Stop communicating with anyone who presses you for this type of information.

Use the e-mail system provided by the dating service rather than your own e-mail address to maintain your privacy.

Be smart about choosing profile pictures and learn how to share photos safely. Make sure your photos reflect what you want to say about yourself. Provocative pictures may attract the wrong people. Make sure that your images do not contain identifying information.

Set your search criteria to filter out anyone with behaviors you may not want to deal with, and check to see if a potential date has a good reputation among other daters on the service.

Be cautious about sharing emotional vulnerabilities. It is very easy for criminals to play to emotions to gain undeserved trust, or to tell a sad story to gain your sympathies. Use a friend as a sanity check – if the story sounds like a stretch to them it probably is.

Note any inconsistencies in what they say about themselves. Periodically reviewing exchanges you’ve had with a critical eye is healthy. This is a real advantage with the Internet, because it IS written down, not something fuzzy in your memory.

Jessica: Safer Dates recently partnered with your company ReputationShare and added a gauge to our member profiles that track online behaviors.  How can our members get the most out of this feature?

Linda: You deserve to experience the Web, and the people you meet through the Web, on your own terms. I was super pleased to learn how much Safer Dates is dedicated to providing as safe an environment as they can, AND how much they respect their users. ReputationShare does two key things for Safer Dates users.

First, it helps the service identify and manage rogue users because, like credit bureaus, ReputationShare literally shares people’s online reputations across participating sites.  If someone has been abusing other Dating sites or their members, Safer Dates can see that information even as the person is registering and take appropriate steps. That said, unlike credit bureaus, the ReputationShare service does not receive or store any information about who the user is. Consumers privacy is extremely important to us. Users stay entirely anonymous, but both positive and negative behaviors associated with their email alias are collected. Of course, we have advanced algorithms to identify email accounts being gamed. Learn more about ReputationShare on www.reputationshare.net.

Second, it gives users the ability to make more informed choices about who they choose to interact with.

Segment four question:  Name four things you should withhold from your dating profile. To submit your answer, click on the contact link found on the upper left side of the blog.

July 31, 2009

Source: datinglovedating.com

While honesty has always been revered as a valuable human trait, it draws its value from its scarcity. In other words, honesty is revered because so few people remain honest, particularly when they believe no one can see them. Now, when a person is tucked away in the privacy of his or her home typing into an online dating site’s profile page, there will be a tendency to stretch the truth somewhat.

Granted, it is really not all that big of a deal to shave a few pounds off of one’s weight and claim an “athletic” build, but it is a completely different ballgame when the individual shaves a decade off of his or her age. Additionally, when it comes to claiming to be single when one is married we are no longer in the category of mere dishonesty. We are in the category of disgraceful and embarrassing conduct. This is why is is important to only deal with dating services that provide an online dating background check prior to accepting a profile.

When an Online Dating Background Check is a Pre-Requisite

The better companies will perform a short and abbreviated online dating background check through the use of confirming personal information provided. This is a relatively simple process that the more astute companies have followed in response to various outcries from members of the online dating realm.

In the old days, so to speak, most companies would simply allow an individual to make whatever claim he or she wished and no verification process was performed This practice was eventually curbed and an online dating background check became commonplace with many services. After all, if a potential mate turns out to be a radically different person than what was claimed on the dating profile, this is a bad reflection on the dating service and has the potential to hurt future business.

The instituting of an online dating background check ultimately reduced the instances of people lying about their marital status, their age and, in some cases, whether or not they were convicted felons. Of course, there will be those individuals who have beaten the online dating background check, but many of these individuals found themselves liable in civil court. This reduced instances of fraud greatly and has made online dating much more safer and pleasurable. So, let your fears be put to rest and keep directing your business towards those dating services that provide comprehensive online background checks.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Love Sex Lies and the Internet mouse “trap” is Safer Dates pick for an online dating guide because of it’s indepth yet light hearted look at a very serious subject.

Yvonne Rice eloquently explores the history of dating and offers a truthful look into the good and bad that has come from men and woman evolving in different social directions over the past couple decades.  The feelings and emotions of each era will jump off the pages and dislodge memories imbedded deep in the psyche.  Being from the “Generation Confused” myself, it really opened my eyes to what we’ve done and are doing to the men in our lives.

Yvonne inspires and motivates the full spectrum of daters from the novice, to the young single parent, to the middle aged divorcee just getting back into the dating scene.  She covers the technological advances and even offers expert detailed advice on how to set up a dating profile and how to effectively communicate with other online users to increase your success at meeting “The One.”   She even discusses the dangers that are associated with online dating and how to avoid becoming a victim, something we strongly advocate at SaferDates.com.

Once you’ve finished reading this book you will feel that you can tackle the online world with confidence, a trait that can be very sexy.  I highly recommend that anyone considering online dating should FIRST read this book before interacting within the online community.

I personally found myself smiling all the way through to the very end and I know you will too.

Doreen DeAguila - CEO - SaferDates.com

Love Sex Lies and the Internet mouse “trap” is witty, insightful, playful and clever.  Yvonne Rice explores dating full circle.  You’ll travel back in time as she defines the past couple decades of transformation between the sexes and I guarantee you’ll feel nostalgic at times.  She’ll guide you through the technological advances in dating and offer expert advice on how to properly utilize an online dating service.  Plus she exposes the dark side of the Internet by exploring the scams, rip-off artists and sexual predators that target the online dating industry.  A relevant read for amateur daters and divorcees ready to take the plunge into the sea of online dating!

Jessica Walker - Safer in the City columnist for SaferDates.com/blog

By Jessica Walker

With Spring in the air and Spring cleaning on my mind, I decided to write this months article on how you can Spring clean your dating profile. I know what your thinking, cleaning - that’s loads of fun (note the sarcasm!) but, what if that perfect match stops just short of sending you an email because you failed to communicate your desires clearly.  Well, no need to panic because I have interviewed the perfect person to help you develop your communication skills both on and offline.  His name is Bob Nicoll and he is featured in my latest article, “Empowering word choice will enhance your dating experience.” Scroll below to read it now.

Bob has a Bachelor’s Degree in Psychology, a Master’s in Counseling and over thirty years experience studying word choice and articulation.  Bob has also been a counseling psychologist, a business owner/consultant, a motivational speaker, a sales trainer, restaurant owner, financial planner and a top sales manager.  As recent as last year, Bob authored “Remember the Ice and Other Paradigm Shifts”.  Since it’s release in October 2008, Bob sold copies in more then 15 countries making it a book that has “jumped the pond.”

Bob’s book is the main focus of the interview as it is “a comprehensive program that teaches you to enhance your communication skills with family members, friends, co-workers—anyone who is important to you. It helps you stay focused on your task and accomplish more goals because you are conveying your message, and articulating your thoughts in a clear, precise manner. You eliminate confusion and gain confidence in your message and ultimately attract more of what you want.”  To purchase a copy of Bob’s book and learn more about his program please visit, www.remembertheice.com.

Oh and lastly, Bob is no stranger to Internet dating but you’ll have to read the interview to learn more about that.

Until next month, here’s to keeping you Safer in the City!

- Jessica

“Empowering word choice will enhance your dating experience”

Jessica: I heard you had a very successful experience using an online dating service, can you please share your story with our members?

Bob: Jessica, I am delighted to share our story.  Nancy and I met on an online dating service in October of 2002.  We both appreciated how the technology provided us the opportunity.  We lived 65 miles apart (near the Dallas metroplex).   After connecting through the site’s messaging system, we shared some emails and phone calls—realized there was a great chemistry starting, and decided to meet.  Actually, Nancy was the one who said, “I have a day off on Thursday, how about I come to Sherman and you take me out to dinner?”  I loved her spirit, and anxiously awaited her arrival at the restaurant.

The first meeting was very special.  That chemistry we both thought was there?…… was overwhelmingly there!!!  We had a great dinner, went to Wal-Mart and purchased a DVD player so we could view the 20th Anniversary of E.T. together.  We had a great first date.  We both knew we had something special happening.  I will always remember watching her leave the restaurant parking lot where we had left her vehicle parked, and turning the wrong way on a one-way street to get back on the highway.  I called her on her cell and asked if she realized it, and she smiled and said “NO, I think I had you very much on my mind at that moment!”  It was a cute moment.  Thankfully traffic around mid-night was usually pretty sparse.

We both shared our goals and dreams in our profiles, and saw many similar interests.  (BTW, that suggestion that “opposites attract”…..for me is generally a statement of the north and south ends of two magnets.)  We were definitely attracted to our many similar interests and respectfully asked about new ones that presented themselves.

Here is the body of my profile:

Continue Reading »

by Jessica Walker

After celebrating Valentine’s Day, I figured it was appropriate to switch the focus this month from safety to helping you find that special someone. And what better way to do that then to interview another Safer Dates expert, Yvonnne Rice, for my third article, “Write Your Dating Profile with a Smile.” Scroll below to read it now.

Yvonne Rice is a former Dating Agency Director and expert in the research of all aspects of the single lifestyle. She is a huge supporter of online dating and has researched 4,500+ online singles and over 6,000 online dating sites globally. As a result of this research, she is also the Author of two books dedicated to being single and dating online, “Love Sex Lies and the Internet Mouse ‘Trap’” and “Finding ‘The One’ - A Powerful Step-by-Step Guide to Making Online Dating Work for You”, available through SaferDates.com. Whether you’re a new or seasoned dater, both of Yvonne’s books will help you to truly understand the online dating scene. Yvonne’s depth of research, coupled with her wry sense of humor, provides a clear, accurate and immensely well-balanced view of the good, the bad and the ugly sides of Internet dating in all of its forms.

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The people at Safer Dates believe it is! During these hard economic times, Safer Dates acknowledges that building relationships is more important now than ever before, which is why they decided to make their memberships free to help keep your love life optimistic.

Clearwater, FL (PRWEB) January 15, 2009 — Doreen DeAguila, CEO of Safer Dates states, “It’s rough out there and the media covers it intensely all hours of the day. We want Safer Dates to be a safe haven from all the negativity. Take a break from the news and log on to SaferDates.com,there are only friendly faces on our site.”

A free Safer Dates membership is packed full of the following benefits to help you safely communicate with that special someone:

Instant messaging (IM)
Personal blogs
Forums
Four different chat rooms - The Lounge, Hollywood, Tech Talk and Current Events

While you’re becoming acquainted with the site, take note of the verification levels. The Level I and Level II Verifications are not included with the free membership but for a small annual fee they can be a great investment, not only strengthening your Safer Dates profile but they can also benefit you on other dating site profiles as well as social networking profiles.

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