By Jessica Walker

I’ve become very familiar with the acronym RSA over the past couple days.  RSA stands for Rivest, Shamir and Adleman, the three MIT researches responsible for describing it in 1978.  According to Wikipedia, RSA is an algorithm for public-key cryptography.  It is the first algorithm known to be suitable for signing as well as encryption, and was one of the first great advances in public key cryptography. RSA is widely used in electronic commerce protocols, and is believed to be secure given sufficiently long keys and the use of up-to-date implementations.

RSA is also the Security Division of EMC, which is a world leader that designs, builds and manages secure information infrastructures.

So why have I suddenly gone “geek” on you?  Well, I stumbled upon an article, “The evolution of online identity and trust,” written by Scott Charney, corporate VP, Trustworthy Computing at Microsoft and wanted to share as much as I could on the topic of online security.

Mr. Charney was recently a keynote speaker at the 2010 RSA Conference that ended on March 5th in San Francisco, CA.  The RSA Conference attracts top security professionals from around the world to collaborate on IT security.

In his presentation, Mr. Charney discussed creating a safer, more trusted Internet and he touched upon identity security with a focus on authenticity and anonymity.  Mr. Charney and the folks at Microsoft have a vision of working with the public, private, social and economic sectors to create a kind of digital identification card that can be used much like we use a passport or a driver’s license.  Mr. Charney envisions the online user registering for this digital identification card in-person at a government office.  This card would allow a web user to interact online without having to pass along private information which in turn lets the user remain anonymous when needed.  It’s like flashing your driver’s license to a bouncer when entering a night club.  The bouncer only needs to verify that your face matches your photo and they will probably scan the card to prove it’s authentic.  The bouncer doesn’t store your address, birthday, height or eye color for later use nor do they require you to answer security questions before entering such as what is your mother’s maiden name or what was the name of your first pet?  The bouncer knows that the DMV has reviewed your birth certificate and social security card prior to issuing your driver’s license.

This is very exciting news, especially for the online dating industry.  The whole premise behind the SaferDates.com site is to try to ensure authenticity while maintaining a degree of anonymity.  We are thrilled to hear that the security industry is working diligently to develop digital identification technology.

Now how does all this tie into our site and your member profile in particular?  Well, this is very good lead into a service that we have woven into our member profiles and it’s called ReputationShare.

You’ve probably already noticed the ReputationShare box located at the bottom of your Personal Details section.  ReputationShare is just another tool that we offer to help you take control of your safety.

When I interviewed Linda Criddle, ReputationShare President, last year she had this to say about her product, “It helps identify and manage rogue users because, like credit bureaus, ReputationShare literally shares people’s online reputations across participating sites.  If someone has been abusing other Dating sites or their members, Safer Dates can see that information even as the person is registering and take appropriate steps. Unlike credit bureaus, the ReputationShare service does not receive or store any information about who the user is. Users stay entirely anonymous, but both positive and negative behaviors associated with their email alias are collected.  Second, it gives users the ability to make more informed choices about who they choose to interact with.”

I contacted Linda again to see what she thought about Mr. Charney’s article on authenticity and anonymity and this is what she had to say, “Partial anonymity isn’t about a need to know, it is about a user’s choice to share information to achieve greater trust. In an online dating scenario this could be manifest when a potential date wants others to know that they have a track record of decent behavior. In this case the potential date does not need to know anything about WHO you are, they just need to know HOW you behave. ReputationShare is a great example of a system that ensures anonymity of identity, and personal privacy, while providing solid information about a reputation.”  To read Linda’s blog click here.

Safer Dates believes abusive behavior in the cyber world can sometimes cross over into the physical world and we feel the ReputationShare tool will empower you to manage your own safety more effectively.

To learn more about ReputationShare please visit http://www.reputationshare.com/.

Until next time, here’s to keeping you Safer in the City!

- Jessica

Too much emphasis placed on appearance
By Steve Penner

In a recent article published in USA Today, Todd Shackleford, a psychology professor at Florida Atlantic University, who has been studying infidelity for more than 20 years, states that people with low scores on personality tests that measure conscientiousness and high scores on openness to experience also are likely to cheat.

But Shackleford adds that especially for men, opportunity is also a major factor, as the temptation for successful guys with lots of money and whose careers cause them to travel away from home and who have women throwing themselves at them, will be far more likely to stray.

I am reminded of a comment that good old Samantha uttered on “Sex and the City,” “Men cheat for the same reason that dogs lick their (privates), because they can.” But in this column, titled “The Truth about Dating,” I want to focus on another reason that men and women eventually cheat on their spouses. I am not merely talking about celebrities, but everyday people. That factor is the overemphasis that both sexes (but especially men) place on physical appearance when they start dating.

I have written this before, but I cannot emphasize this fact enough. Both at the dating service that I ran for 23 years and through subsequent coaching of singles who sign up forInternet dating sites, I have seen too many people place far too much emphasis on physical appearance.

Unfortunately, so many people who play the dating game minimize all other factors except appearance when looking to meet someone, supposedly for a “long-term” relationship. Yes, these people state that they are looking to meet someone with whom they can grow old. Yet what they are really looking for is someone they find very attractive today.

So they ignore personality characteristics, similar values, etc., and look for a person who at this point in their life just “knocks their socks off.” Subsequently, when they find such a person, they ignore everything else, and believe in their heart of hearts that they have finally found Mr. or Ms. Right. After all, that is what happens in the movies.

Many times I listened to feedback from guys after first dates raving about what a great “match” they had just met. What made her such a terrific match? “She was absolutely breathtaking,” they would exclaim. And what about her personality? “Yeah, it seemed OK.” I have written all of this before in many columns over the past 4½ years. I have written about men who get their dating clues from watching gorgeous women parade before them on television commercials or in Victoria Secret catalogs. Then there are women whose dating priorities began to evolve when they were little girls watching the handsome Prince Charming sweep away Cinderella or Sleeping Beauty in their favorite Disney animated feature.

I have written about men who refuse to date a woman because she weighs 10 pounds more than the ideal or women who reject a man because he is two inches shorter than her preference. I have also written about the fact that the infatuation phase of any relationship has a shelf life far shorter than the number of years it takes to grow old with somebody.

So what happens when the initial physical infatuation for such people wears off, whether it is weeks, months, or years after the wedding? If they still want to stay together, perhaps because of the children or for financial reasons, then their eyes will begin to wander …; and inevitably one or both will cheat.

I am not talking about all couples, but I am talking about those couples who based their initial relationship primarily on physical attraction. Any man who tells his dating service counselor to focus only on physical appearance when finding him matches (and I heard many men make that statement), is a guy very likely to cheat down the road.

The same holds true for a woman who skims through her online dating service matches just looking for her tall, dark, and handsome “Prince Charming.” As for Tiger Woods, all his life he probably lusted after beautiful, Scandinavian-looking blondes with classic beauty, and he eventually found one. His wife, the Swedish Elin Nordegren, is the personification of such a gorgeous woman.

Of course I would guess that many gorgeous women who, when young, used their beauty to snare wealthy, successful men may be the victims of a philandering hubby even more than “normal” looking women. It is likely that such men tended to overlook undesirable personality traits when they first wed, and when the infatuation period began to fade, these guys’ eyes began to wonder.

I have often heard the quip “show me a man who has been married to a beautiful blonde for many years, and I will show you a man who lusts after gorgeous brunettes.” (Although Tiger seems to stick with blondes.) I have no way of knowing how Tiger felt about Elin’s personality, her values, her interests, her political views, etc., when he first met her. But I would suspect he couldn’t care less the moment he set eyes on her. Elin fit the image that he was looking for, and for a perfectionist like Tiger that was probably all it took for him to eventually propose.

Yet supposedly he was cheating on her even before they were married!

So, show me a couple who claim it was “love at first sight,” and then got hitched just a few weeks or months later, and I will show you a husband and or wife likely to eventually cheat.

Are there exceptions? Of course. But I would suggest they are about as rare as a double bogey by Tiger Woods during the final round of the Masters.

Source: seacoastline.com

By Jessica Walker

Segment 4

Jessica: Please give our members examples of the information that should be withheld from a dating profile or a social networking profile, information that a criminal could use against them.

Linda: When you are first meeting and getting to know someone online you want to share what you care about, and not much about who or where you are.

Maintain anonymity to protect your identity. Don’t include your full name, phone number, where you work, financial status, or detailed location information in your profile or during early communications with potential dates. Stop communicating with anyone who presses you for this type of information.

Use the e-mail system provided by the dating service rather than your own e-mail address to maintain your privacy.

Be smart about choosing profile pictures and learn how to share photos safely. Make sure your photos reflect what you want to say about yourself. Provocative pictures may attract the wrong people. Make sure that your images do not contain identifying information.

Set your search criteria to filter out anyone with behaviors you may not want to deal with, and check to see if a potential date has a good reputation among other daters on the service.

Be cautious about sharing emotional vulnerabilities. It is very easy for criminals to play to emotions to gain undeserved trust, or to tell a sad story to gain your sympathies. Use a friend as a sanity check – if the story sounds like a stretch to them it probably is.

Note any inconsistencies in what they say about themselves. Periodically reviewing exchanges you’ve had with a critical eye is healthy. This is a real advantage with the Internet, because it IS written down, not something fuzzy in your memory.

Jessica: Safer Dates recently partnered with your company ReputationShare and added a gauge to our member profiles that track online behaviors.  How can our members get the most out of this feature?

Linda: You deserve to experience the Web, and the people you meet through the Web, on your own terms. I was super pleased to learn how much Safer Dates is dedicated to providing as safe an environment as they can, AND how much they respect their users. ReputationShare does two key things for Safer Dates users.

First, it helps the service identify and manage rogue users because, like credit bureaus, ReputationShare literally shares people’s online reputations across participating sites.  If someone has been abusing other Dating sites or their members, Safer Dates can see that information even as the person is registering and take appropriate steps. That said, unlike credit bureaus, the ReputationShare service does not receive or store any information about who the user is. Consumers privacy is extremely important to us. Users stay entirely anonymous, but both positive and negative behaviors associated with their email alias are collected. Of course, we have advanced algorithms to identify email accounts being gamed. Learn more about ReputationShare on www.reputationshare.net.

Second, it gives users the ability to make more informed choices about who they choose to interact with.

Segment four question:  Name four things you should withhold from your dating profile. To submit your answer, click on the contact link found on the upper left side of the blog.

Mar 03, 2009

Millions of people of all ages have tried Internet dating services as a way to meet new friends and possibly find a lifelong partner. It’s a great way to get acquainted with people you would never have met otherwise. When done with caution, online dating may even be safer than meeting people in the “real” world because you have more time to get to know someone before meeting him or her in person.

Dating online requires you take steps to protect yourself. The first rule of thumb is to trust your instincts when interacting with a potential date. Select your online dating service carefully. Look for an established, popular site with plenty of members and a philosophy that matches your own.

Here are some other safety tips.

1. Maintain anonymity to protect your identity. Don’t include your full name, phone number, where you work, or detailed location information in your profile or during early communications with potential dates. Stop communicating with anyone who presses you for this type of information.

2. Use the e-mail system provided by the dating service rather than your own e-mail address to maintain your privacy.

3. Be smart about choosing profile pictures. Make sure your photos reflect what you want to say about yourself. Provocative pictures may attract the wrong people. Make sure that your images do not contain identifying information such as nearby landmarks or a T-shirt with your school or company logo.

4. Check to see if a potential date has a good reputation among other daters on the service.

5. Be realistic. Read the profiles of others with skepticism. As you correspond or talk on the phone, ask questions, seek direct answers, and note any inconsistencies. Look for danger signs such as a display of anger, an attempt to control you, disrespectful comments, or any physically threatening or otherwise unwelcome behavior.

6. If a person becomes abusive, report it and block that person from contacting you again using the dating site settings.

7. When you decide to meet, create a safe environment. Keep first dates short, and agree to meet in a public place during a busy time of day, Make sure somebody knows where you’re going. If your date doesn’t look like his or her photo, walk away and report that person to the dating service.

8. If a date asks you for a loan or any financial information, no matter how sad the hard luck story, it is virtually always a Common e-mail scams and you should report it.

Formal dating sites are not the only places that people meet, and teaching online dating safety is particularly critical to protecting teens. Teens are becoming active online daters from as early as 14 years of age.

Thank you to www.lookbothways.com for providing this valuable information.

Jun 20, 2008

Clearwater, FL (PRWEB) June 20, 2008– SaferDates.com continues to be on the cutting edge of online dating platforms by launching Investidate, a new site feature that offers their Level I Verification screening to anyone visiting the site.  That’s right you don’t have to be a member or a single person to utilize this feature.  In fact, members from other dating websites are welcome to utilize Investidate to screen their latest love interest.

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